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Lets see, I was born in New Albany, Indiana on February 20, 1965, to David and Launa Siltz. I was the only child at the time, but my parents blew that sweet deal a couple of years later by bringing my sister Dina home. I guess for a short time after I was born we lived in Maplewood Indiana, but I dont remember that at all. My earliest memories are of the house in Lanesville where we lived until I was six. My actual earliest memory is of my mom carrying around a baby that, to my horror, wasnt me. I suppose that must have been Dina, but I didnt ask as I was too busy calculating the days Id have to put up with that shit. When I was five I was trying out some new tennis shoes, and showing off for my friend Kelly, and I ran through this sliding glass door. Cut the shit out of myself and, Im sure, scared the shit out of my parents whod been lucky enough to witness this feat. I still have a few scars from this incident. When I was eight I was blessed by the arrival of a new baby sister. I felt so blessed, in fact, for having a new sister instead of a new brother that I went and hid in a tree until my dad threatened to cut it down to make me at least come and look at the baby. Went to Georgetown Elementary where I guess I didnt apply myself. At least thats what everybody kept telling me. All throughout these years my best friends have been Eric and my cousins Jeff and Chris. Id just rotate around according to this complex formula which pretty much consisted of whos parents had least recently grounded their kids from seeing me. It was never my fault, but I was always there, and I was always blamed when somebodys little angel fucked something up. This pattern continued until the day when Chris got messed up on something and decided to confess all of his sins to his parents and, guess what, I WAS NOT THE ROOT OF ALL OF HIS MISDEEDS! Chris died a few years ago. Thats pretty fucked up, right there. After Georgetown, I went to Floyd Central Junior/Senior High School, home of the mighty Highlanders. Man, did my school have the unscariest mascot or what? Is unscariest even a word? I guess I started applying myself at Floyd Central because my mom stopped yelling at me. I wish Id have taken more math classes back in school but back then I thought it was too boring. At one point, this crazy lady that lived next to my grandmother tricked me into joining the Air Force. I didnt mind too much. It seemed easier than having to go out and look for my own job. Got married just after I turned twenty, divorced a couple of years later, then back with my ex for a couple more years. People look at me funny when I tell them that I got back with my ex-wife, but it really did seem like a good idea at the time. Free pussy and all that. Nope, I did not just write that. Move along please. During the time that my ex and I were apart my mom passed away. I was 22. I remember my ex-wife coming to Indiana to see me while I was visiting my dying mother in the hospital. She needed me to sign the divorce papers. Sweet, huh? By the time my second attempt to have a life with my ex failed I was living in Omaha, Nebraska. Best kept secret in the United States, I keep telling people. I should probably stop telling people that or it wont be such a big secret anymore. Oops. Sorry about that, Omaha. Oh yeah, during all this time I was still in the Air Force and for fun Id play pool. Pool was, and still is, pretty much my big talent. I was actually a pretty damn good player back in my twenties. Id play in leagues and tournaments and shit. Loads of fun. Still is, though Im not as good now as I used to be. When I got out of the Air Force, I had a choice to make. Should I just return home to Indiana and my family, or should I just keep moving Westward? I ended up in Seattle, where for three years I was insanely happy, and for three more years I was kinda bored actually. During the Seattle years I also got to live in Alaska for a while, and New Orleans. Both locations were quite nice. Alaska especially Id like to return to someday. For the first year in Seattle I put together the APA pool league in King County. My roommate at the time was the League Operator, and I guess he was doing something, but it couldnt have been much because he had to sell the league. I bartended for a while and then I was unemployed for a while. Eating dirt for breakfast, lunch, and dinner gets old pretty quickly and so I started working with computers. At one point I finally got up the nerve to leave my job in Seattle and head back to Indiana. Unfortunately there were no jobs in Indiana so I was forced to take a six-month detour to Memphis. The job I had in Memphis was cool but everything else about that city sucked. Easily the most racist place Ive ever been in my life. I was very happy to finally leave Memphis. I was quite a bit less happy when, six weeks after I returned to Indiana, my beloved grandmother died. As much as that sucked, my father dying six weeks after that - well, Ive written a litte bit about losing my father. For the first couple of years after I moved back to Indiana, I had pretty much the sweetest job ever. I got to work from home and travel only when they needed me. I was actually working for the same guy that Id worked for in Seattle. Once the Internet bubble burst I was one of the first people they let go so I had to go and get myself a real job at substantially less pay. Oh well. I guess thats about it. Except for whats in the blog. Speaking of the blog. Ive made these little lists a few times that may provide more insight into the wonder that is me. Ill list their contents below:

 

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